It's funny how things change over time. Since being in Uganda my perspective on alot of things have changed. I am a planner no doubt. I like to know what is going on, when things are going to happen, how they will happen etc. I like to be in control. When I was little, I planned out how my life would be. When I was 5 years old, I thought my life would look like this:
I would marry a handsome, dashing rich guy who looked like my Ken Barbie doll.
Live in a big house, with horses.
Have a "bunch" of kids and live happily ever after.
When I was 15 my life was gonna look like this:
I would marry a handsome, buff football player (or coach)by age 21.
Live in our luxurious house we built.
Drive a brand new SUV
Be a stay-at -home mom and freelance make-up artist.
Have 7 children-3 boys and 4 girls. (3 biological; 4 adopted from Uganda, Guatemala and China)I even had their names picked out!
We would live the safe American dream.
I kept this "plan" for a couple years. It evolved a little but you get the idea of what I wanted.
After Uganda, that plan seems ridiculous! It's too safe for me!!
Now I really don't have a plan. I don't know exactly how or what God is leading me to do with my life.
In my humanness, I want to be married. But if God calls me to be single my whole life I really have peace about it. Marriage doesn't complete me- God does.
I still have the desire to be a mother and to adopt. But if God doesn't want that-I have peace about that too.
I don't want to live in suburbia America. It's too safe, too comfortable. So if God is calling me to live full time in Africa- I good with that. If He wants me to be a light to the lost in America my whole life, then I'm okay with that too.
If He wants me to live among the poor, orphan, homeless, broken-I'm at peace with it.
If God wants me to be a martyr for Him-PRAISE GOD!!
If He lets me live 100 years here on earth. PRAISE GOD!!
My life looks alot different than I thought it would. A few years ago, if you would have told me that I would go to Africa at 18 and be at total peace about being single my whole life, living in Africa among the poor and orphaned, and being a martyr, I would have thought you were crazy!
I am so glad God has changed my "plans" I think He probably laughed at them!! I no longer want the American dream of success, popularity, comfort and ease. My life is but a vapor and I want the little time I have here on earth to bring GLORY to my King!!