Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Life "Plans"- CHANGED.

It's funny how things change over time. Since being in Uganda my perspective on alot of things have changed. I am a planner no doubt. I like to know what is going on, when things are going to happen, how they will happen etc. I like to be in control. When I was little, I planned out how my life would be. When I was 5 years old, I thought my life would look like this:

I would marry a handsome, dashing rich guy who looked like my Ken Barbie doll.
Live in a big house, with horses.
Have a "bunch" of kids and live happily ever after.

When I was 15 my life was gonna look like this:

I would marry a handsome, buff football player (or coach)by age 21.
Live in our luxurious house we built.
Drive a brand new SUV
Be a stay-at -home mom and freelance make-up artist.
Have 7 children-3 boys and 4 girls. (3 biological; 4 adopted from Uganda, Guatemala and China)I even had their names picked out!
We would live the safe American dream.

I kept this "plan" for a couple years. It evolved a little but you get the idea of what I wanted.

After Uganda, that plan seems ridiculous! It's too safe for me!!

Now I really don't have a plan. I don't know exactly how or what God is leading me to do with my life.

In my humanness, I want to be married. But if God calls me to be single my whole life I really have peace about it. Marriage doesn't complete me- God does.
I still have the desire to be a mother and to adopt. But if God doesn't want that-I have peace about that too.
I don't want to live in suburbia America. It's too safe, too comfortable. So if God is calling me to live full time in Africa- I good with that. If He wants me to be a light to the lost in America my whole life, then I'm okay with that too.
If He wants me to live among the poor, orphan, homeless, broken-I'm at peace with it.
If God wants me to be a martyr for Him-PRAISE GOD!!
If He lets me live 100 years here on earth. PRAISE GOD!!

My life looks alot different than I thought it would. A few years ago, if you would have told me that I would go to Africa at 18 and be at total peace about being single my whole life, living in Africa among the poor and orphaned, and being a martyr, I would have thought you were crazy!

I am so glad God has changed my "plans" I think He probably laughed at them!! I no longer want the American dream of success, popularity, comfort and ease. My life is but a vapor and I want the little time I have here on earth to bring GLORY to my King!!


Journey of Joy said...

Mariah, I am so encouraged by your thoughts that you've shared. Keep your eyes focused on Christ as He unfolds your life minute by minute. You are are growing so much in your maturity and love for Christ! Praise the Lord!

Love you!
Miss K

Dawn said...

Mariah, I love this post. I had similar revelations when I was 18 - just as I was starting college. It was like all of a sudden the eyes of my heart were opened up to how EXCITING it is to follow Jesus. To not know the future. To know I am in his hands. To be led by him to do things for him through his strength. I've been a Christian since I was 11 but my real, honest to goodness life-changing walk began right after my senior year of high school. (For me, missions & evangelism were still a few years off - that call wasn't revealed to me till I was 20). I have never turned from my decision to follow Jesus - he is the safest relationship I have ever known, and I love growing in my knowledge of how well he loves me and knows me.

His plans for you beyond this year are tailor made for you, and they'll challenge and bless you in all the right ways. I can't wait to see it unfold for you!

Dawn said...

p.s. I was listening to Jars of Clay's "Good Monsters" (the song) last weekend and the lyrics really talk about that "safe" lifestyle so many of us Americans pursue. Check them out!