Confession. I am a planner. I always have and probably will always be. I was the girl that started packing for a trip weeks before. I’m the girl who has dreamed of weddings from the time I was little and I have lists of future baby names that I have made over the years. In my head and in my “plans” for my life it looked so simple. Go to college. Major in this degree. Fall in love- get married and have a baby 2.5 years later. Have 4-6 children about 2 years apart- two biological and the rest adopted. Yeah, it seemed like I had it all figured out right? Well, God has a great sense of humor because everything that I had “planned” has not happened. I have not gone to college and pursued a degree. I don’t know when or if I will get married. I don’t know if I will have children either.
I am so thankful for this. If I knew how everything turned out. If I had a very clear picture of what I was supposed to do with my life then there would be no reason to fully depend on the LORD. Not knowing the future or at least no having an idea of what is next goes completely against my nature. But it is through this that the Lord turned my self-reliance and independence to reliance and dependence upon Him.
Psalm 139 says, “O LORD, You have searched me and known me! You know when I sit and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways…..You hem me in, behind and before, and lay Your hand upon me….Where shall I go from Your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from Your Presence? Of I ascend to Heaven, You are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me….. For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalm 139: 1-3; 5; 7-10; 13-16)
Do we see these verses as realities in our lives? That God knows us intimately because He formed us and made us and His works are wonderful? Do we believe that God is continually with us? That there is no place where we can flee from His presence? That all our days were ordained for us even before we took our first breath?
He knows us. He knows us intimately. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows every thought, every emotion we experience. He knows every fear and care. He knows every joy and every tear. He knows the past, present and future. He holds everything in His hands and there is nothing out of His reach.
My friends, do we believe this? Do we believe this as a reality for US- for OUR LIVES? Do the ways we live our lives reflect this solid Truth? That we live our lives in faith- trusting in the Author and Creator who is sovereign over all and faithful to guide, direct and lead, provide and protect us?
If we believe this- we have every reason to TRUST GOD.
We may never understand God’s leading or why He allows us to go through difficulties, tragedies and trials, but we, God’s children can fully depend upon our Good Father whose ways are above our own, and whose wisdom is beyond us.
Though, I may not know the way I go- but oh, I know my Guide!