Hello, hello!! First of all, I am sorry I have not posted anything in the last few months. Life has been absolutely crazy for the most part. There have been lots of high points and some difficult things too as well. However, God has been so good through it all. He is definitely moving and working. The Lord has done some amazing things in my life these last few months... I can't give details at the moment but I hope in the future I will be able to share in full all that God has done. :)
In this season of my life, which is somewhat uncertain when it comes to what is next for me or what my future holds, I want to share with you what the Lord continues to press upon my heart.
I am called to Him.
My heart is passionate about many things: Orphans and the fatherless, Innocent children and vulnerable women, the poor, inner city ministry, missions work, eliminating sex trafficking, passionate worship, and becoming a wife and a mother (someday). As much as these things are a part of my heart, they are not my first calling.
My first calling is to Jesus; to be like Him, to serve Him, to glorify Him, to love Him, and to tell the world (both near and far) about Him. Oh to serve and love just like Jesus. HE is what defines me. Neither my ministry nor my passions but my one true passion, Jesus, is what defines my life.
I know that the Lord has given me specific burdens that I am very passionate about. However, I am being reminded that those burdens do not define my life, but Jesus defines me. He is the reason I carry a burden for the orphans, those enslaved in human trafficking. He is the reason I desire to be a wife and a mother…to glorify Jesus in my marriage, selflessly serve my husband and raise my children in the ways of the Lord so that they may love Him too.
So whatever or wherever the Lord calls me to go or do... I know that it is for Him, because of Him and only Him and His Spirit within my chest that can do it in and through me. Whether Jesus calls me to be a single, married or widowed woman- that does not define me either. Jesus does. Whether Jesus calls me to have plenty or be in want- rich or poor. My financial status does not define me. He does.
Wherever Jesus places me, I am called to be faithful to Him there-putting all of my strength and energy into it. Shining Jesus to whoever He puts in my life to pour and sow into.
I in no way have mastered this. Honestly, it is a daily choice to believe this and stand in this reality: Jesus defines me. How easy it is to look at our surroundings and think that we would be more valuable if we did this or had this or that. Or "If I was married and had a family... that's when I would finally feel like I will be fulfilled and have purpose." Or maybe it is this, "If I could just go to a foreign country and be a missionary... that is when I will feel like I am doing something for God."
Believe me, I don't want to be a nanny and hostess for the rest of my life... but it is the choice to find joy, peace in Jesus and purpose in this season of my life.... even though it isn't where I'd exactly choose to be if I had it my way.
The question isn't "Where or what am I called to?" but the real question we must ask ourselves is "To WHO am I called?"
JESUS. JESUS. JESUS.
It's all because of Him.
May this be the testimony of the saints. The state of the church. The desire of our lives and goal of our families. Our hearts and lives being fixed ever, only and always on Jesus!!