Modest is something I am very passionate about. Modesty is very important for young ladies and women, married or single. Modesty is more about your heart than what you wear. Yes, the clothes you wear is crucial but what you wear reflects on your heart. So modesty begins at the heart. It shows what your motive in what you wear. Is you motive you attract and lead guys into sexual temptation or is it to reflect a quiet humility of the heart? I love a sermon that C.J. Mahaney gave to his church on modesty.This is what he had to say on modesty of the heart:
“A woman should examine her motive and her goals in the way she dresses, is it her intentions to show the grace and beauty of womanhood, is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshiping God or it is to call attention to herself and to her body, or worse to attempt to allure men sexually…. A woman set on worshiping God will carefully examine her heart and the way she dresses. Her heart will dictate her wardrobe and her appearance. If you are a Christian, it will be your desire to please and honor God in every area of your life, including the way you dress. The way you present yourself says a lot about who you are as a person. Your clothes speak the motivation of your heart, to please God and honor your brothers in Christ by dressing modestly or to attract and allure your brothers in Christ sexually. Mahaney goes on to say, “Immodesty is much more than wearing a low-cut shirt or skirt. Immodesty is an expression of arrogance. Immodesty reveals the absence of humility. Modesty is humility shown in dress, a desire to serve others (men) and not to promote or provoke sensuality or lust.”
I believe that girls don't truly know the great effect dressing immodestly has on guys. A great book for teen girls to read is "For Young Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A. Rice. in the topic of guy's sexual temptation they said this:
"Stop thinking like a girl for a minute and put yourself in a guy's shoes. What must it be like to go through life with this temptation constantly playing in your heard- a temptation which could be triggered at any time, even if you don't want it! What must it be like to have to constantly be concerned about dishonoring the girls you know...or worse, dishonoring God? In one interview, a guy gave us a great example to help girls "get it"
'Girls need to know what they're doing to guys when they tempt them, visually. A girl's equivalent might be how she responds to touch. How would you feel if guys were able to come up and touch you, all day long, whenever they wanted to? How much would you be able to concentrate on school? Well, when you are dressing to emphasize your figure, you are doing that same thing to guys. You're stimulating them visually to the same degree your would be stimulated by constant touch."
"Although you might wish that the church environment would somehow neutralize a guy's visual temptation, it doesn't. Several guys we interviewed were in worship bands at their churches, and they said the problem with how girls dress in church- and therefore, the temptation- is often just as bad as in a lax school environment."
One worship leader said this:
'It's tough to focus on the worship when there's a girl in a miniskirt in the third row. I have to close my eyes to keep from getting distracted. People think I'm worshiping when I'm actually having a great major internal struggle.'
I believe that the church and Christian community should be a resting place for guys and men to not have to have that constant struggle with lust and sexual temptation. But I think we have a long way to go before that really happens. Girls need to see the vital importance of modesty not just on the clothes side of things but the heart side too.